Rain Shower

February 2016

When actual sex isn’t an option, there are two alternatives – phone sex and sexting. For phone sex, you need a private spot to unleash dirty, naughty poetry.

We prefer sexting because you can do it while in a business meeting or while buying beer at the store. It’s very enjoyable. But only up to the point where the girl says, “Fuck me harder.”

Because typing in all caps doesn’t do the trick.

Live Dealer Girl Lhaisa doesn’t like calling or texting. She prefers going on live action dinner dates and movies – the usual boring activities women love. Based on her experience, guys who are charming through calls and texts aren’t up to snuff when it comes to intimate interaction.

Lhaisa even quoted Eminem saying men who “beat around the bush are scared to lick [insert word that rhymes with Suzy] so they eat around the tush.”

Coincidentally, this Live Dealer loves to freestyle rap. And like Anne Hathaway who occasionally spits out a verse or two, Lhaisa should stick to her day job. Or if she were to rap, we’d prefer her to be in a blue bikini under the drizzle of the shower stream because for us…



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