Suited Up

January 2016

The eternal question that has bugged us since the days of Adam and Eve is: What the fuck do women want? We don’t know what they want. It’s an unsolvable mystery. Like Pandora’s Box and Lindsay Lohan. In contrast, women have it easy. When it comes to what we want, we’re easier to read than a pair of pokey headlights in a wet t-shirt contest.

There are only four necessities we want from women — sex, silence, more sex, and sustenance. That’s it. It’s non-negotiable. The first three things make us consider staying while the fourth is what makes us say, “I do.”

While we may want the first three things on the list, only the fourth is coming from the spice rack of Tatjana Pasalic’s kitchen. She’s capable of cooking kick-ass meals. We’re talking about real gourmet stuff with pretentious names like Vichyssoise and Coq au vin.

Tatjana is very approachable and friendly but when it comes to her kitchen, everything is off limits until the finished product. The 2011 Poker Personality of the Year isn’t afraid to spank your hand for reaching for something you’re not supposed to. We know enough to keep our distance from a woman wielding really sharp knives.

When she’s not directing traffic in the kitchen, Tatjana can be seen prowling around in body huggin’ cat suits playing poker. Just imagine going heads-up against a cat-suited Tatjana staring at you with that disarming smile. You’d lose every time.

Whether it’s an empty stomach or a pair of hungry eyes, Tatjana has got it covered.

Barely.

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